Something I have always taken great pride in is my hair. That may be because I didn't have any until I was nearly two years old. So, when it came in, it was a big deal. Once I started getting hair, it became thick and, frankly, quite pretty. I always received lots of compliments on it. I would cut it short every now and then, but always ended up growing it out. Although many times, since my kids were born, my locks ended up in a pony tail or bun, I always had this beautiful
mane that could be let down and was just beautiful.
A couple of years ago, things became really difficult in our marriage. The particulars are not necessary in this post, but suffice to say, I became less and less willing and/or able to play a submissive role in our home. I had always done a pretty good job, although not purposefully, of being submissive; but starting about two years ago, I began to take on more and more of the leadership role and responsibility. I became bossy, nagging, demeaning, and frankly, unpleasant. It's not that my husband doesn't bear any fault in the situation, but on my end, I became less than desirable. So? You might be wondering...
.what does that have to do with my hair?
Last spring, with all of the stress, frustration of what was going on in our marriage, and my decision to take over all aspects of our family, I just got tired of my long hair. I had way too much to do. I had decided I could do it by myself, and my hair just got in the way. So, I cut it off. And I don't mean a cute little bob like I usually do when I decide to whack it all off. This time, I went super short:
I love it. I really do. And, I should, right? It's cute. It is really cute. And, it cuts off so much time during my morning routine. It's completely reasonable that I would want to keep it like this for the time being, until the kids get older, at least. It is. By the world's standards that is.
The world tells me that I need to do what I need to do. If I'm unhappy with the way my home and marriage are running, I should do what I need to do to make things work better and be more comfortable for me, no matter who gets in my way - even (and sometimes, especially) if it is my husband. No one has the right to tell me what to do with my hair. That's what the world says. And, it is so easy to fall into that. It is so easy to be selfish and follow that line of thinking.
However, as I began exploring the idea of submission in marriage, which I chronicled the beginning of in my post Falling, I stumbled upon this verse, via The Peaceful Wife: "But everyone woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, for that is one and the same as if her head were shaved. For if a woman is not covered, let her also be shorn. But if it is shameful for a woman to be shorn or shaved, let her be covered...
.the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head... if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering." 1 Corinthians 11: 5-6, 10, 15.
I was astounded. Honestly, this idea had never even crossed my mind. However, suddenly, the air I could feel on my neck was harsh and cold. The tips of my ears burned. I could feel the lack of a sign of authority on my head. My glory is gone; the covering God gave me as a tangible reminder of my humility and need for Him is missing. I willingly chopped it off and threw it away in an
effort take control of my life. Chopping my hair off is a symbol of selfishness and following fleshly desires, and it completely illustrates my complete lack of obedience to God.
With my recent realization that submission to all of God's commands is the only way I will get closer to Him, I made a decision.
I'm going to grow it out.
I have to grow it out. I need the tangible reminder of my long hair, my God-given glory, brushing my shoulders and bringing me back to awareness of my dependence on Him. This is one of the first instances in my lifetime
of me really understanding dying to myself, for the glory of God. I really would like to keep it short. It's cute and easy, and I get lots of compliments on it. But I believe to honor God, the Bible says to grow it out and keep it that way. So I'm going to.
In the meantime, I need a covering for my head. I have started putting a scarf over my head while I'm having
private quiet time. I have, several times, put my hand on top of my head while praying when I didn't have a cover. I have ordered, and have started wearing, headcoverings from this beautiful site: garlandsofgrace.com. I intend to begin, today, wearing a cover at home just to remind me of my place in the order of things. I have recently found it a little difficult to submit to my husband, and a headcovering will remind me. I think even once my hair is grown out, I will continue this practice.
I'm not doing this because a church is telling me to. I'm not doing this because I've been brainwashed by some cult. I am doing this because I have been moved by the One True King to have a physical, tangible, visible reminder of my submission to His authority, my husband's headship, and my trust in God's beautiful design.
For information on
a great website is: headcoveringmovement.com/. headcovering,